Getting Over a Breakup
Getting over a breakup isn't always easy, especially when you haven't gotten closure.
Everything is still so fresh, so different, and you feel lonely, too. Completely forsaken, to be honest, and yet this step had to happen. Anger, hatred and despair spread, but it's all within the normal range. We go through all kinds of phases, and in theory they're completely normal. They just weigh on you and make life hard at first. Getting over a breakup begins with understanding that there's no going back.
What phases do you go through to get over the breakup?
Life, so to speak, is turned upside down at first. Everything seems so confusing and chaotic, and lots of feelings come up. Despair in particular takes hold. And it's a heavy one, and yet each of us goes through the five phases, whether we want to or not. In the first phase we naturally don't want to accept the breakup. In the second phase the aforementioned anger comes up. Then, without a transition, comes the third phase, in which you'd like to bargain once more, and perhaps also to get over the breakup and regain some hope. Many arrive in the fourth phase with depression, because nothing will ever be the same as before. Only in the fifth and final phase does acceptance set in.
How can you get over the breakup?
That's truly not easy, especially when you want to get over the breakup and yet aren't ready for it. But one thing first: nobody should carry a breakup into the next relationship. Because blame and lingering feelings for your ex quickly doom things when you get involved with a new partner. So get over the breakup, let it go and take your time with a new partner, and here's how to go about it in theory:
• Definitely keep up the no-contact rule, otherwise you'll throw everything in each other's faces.
• Put away the photos and memories, which doesn't mean banishing them from your life.
• Distraction always helps, and treating yourself well is worth its weight in gold in this situation.
• Talking always helps, and for that you need confidants who listen, but also offer support and, if necessary, act as a lifeline.
As you can see, everything takes time, good friends and a great deal of willpower, and then you can get over a breakup and eventually start over.
Time heals all wounds
Getting over a breakup while throwing yourself into a new relationship at the same time isn't fair to the new partner. In principle, he's more of a stopgap. Better to play it safe and get over the breakup on your own. Only then have you learned to deal with it. Because the end of a relationship always hurts, but sooner or later you get over that too.