A slip-up in a committed relationship happens more often than partners like to admit. But why cheat when you're in a relationship?

Men are often blamed for it, but women look for a fling, too. Cheating almost always has a reason behind it, even if you're not always aware of it.

Why cheat ? What are the causes?


Why cheat

If a long-term relationship isn't nurtured, it quickly leads to monotony. The partners get used to living together, building it on a conventional role-play. Everyone knows their place and their own tasks. Over time everything is taken for granted and accepted as it is.

On top of that, communication is often missing. If both are busy and also have children together, the partners often don't find the time to talk at length. Problems get put off, dragged along and not solved in time. Living together turns into living side by side, which in turn leads over time to growing apart. Furthermore, women often run the risk of focusing more on raising the children and thereby neglecting their relationship.

For the partnership to work in the long run, both have to work at it. But there aren't only shared reasons that lead to infidelity; there are also causes that break down by gender.

Causes of cheating: shared reasons:

  • Escaping relationship problems
  • Routine
  • Suffocating closeness after too long together
  • Lack of communication
  • Growing apart
  • Fear of a relationship that's too close
  • Revenge
  • Alcohol at a party leading to freer behavior

Men: causes of cheating

Men look for more variety and get bored quickly. They're after more sexual activity and also want to prove their attractiveness. Especially once they reach a certain age. A flirtation gives them the variety and validation they're looking for. They also often have dreams or wishes they don't talk about openly with their partner.

Why cheat

Women: why cheat


Women, in turn, look for more affection and want to feel more love. This is more about emotional validation. They often feel their partner doesn't appreciate them enough and then look for this affection outside the partnership. Often women simply lack enough attention. Women can also cheat out of revenge every now and then.

Causes of cheating and solutions

Cheating can often be avoided. For that you have to watch for the first signs that something in the relationship isn't right. When they appear, it's especially important not to just look the other way. Instead, trust and communication should be fostered.