Dating a Married Man

A date with a married man is shaped by many feelings and plenty of qualms. Nobody falls for a man with a wife and kids on his hands on purpose.

But the intoxication of the feelings allows it and runs you over like a Porsche in the fast lane. Why him, of all men, when the male of the species is out there in the wild? Perhaps because you want to test yourself and love playing with fire. And dating today, thanks to the internet and its possibilities, can be so easy.

Dating a married man - Why do I long for it?

Doesn't that raise problems right from the start? And what if the flirtation turns into love? Lots of questions that nobody can answer, and yet they buzz around in your head. The hunting instinct doesn't only kick in for men; women love to hunt, too. There's a reason for that. If a man is married, he comes with a seal of approval. He lives in a committed partnership, is past thirty and interesting. That's how the young-and-old dynamic comes into play. Married men are often hit on by younger women. He feels flattered, and the young admirer promptly sharpens her claws. He could become her lover, but how does she go about it?

Not every husband is faithful and loyal

Getting married is one thing, fidelity another. And so many husbands, mostly bored and fed up, hang around online. They look around and a date comes together fast:

• Sign up on dating sites
• Wait for a sign from him
• Present yourself as seductive and devoted
• Understand him and forgive him
• Meet up and see what comes of it
• And if he cheats, you've got him hooked
• He's confronted with a guilty conscience and she has won

Infidelity is commonplace today and almost part of good manners. Men are the cheaters par excellence, still wanting to know their market value.

Dating a married man - Is it fair?

Let's ask it differently: why does he cheat? Most of the time, problems in the marriage are issue number one. They've grown apart and he wants to reorient himself, behind his wife's back. She's clueless and thinks he's working overtime at the office. Far from it: he's having fun with a young woman and then comes home as a hero. With the line, "Honey, I really gave it my all again today." But at some point even the most naive wife catches on. So you should enjoy a date with a married man with caution, because it can backfire.

Is there a happy ending?

Hardly, because married men can talk a big game; they're well practiced at it. They just never mention a separation or a fresh start. Why would they, when everything's taken care of at home and the lover looks after the sexual side. Dates often end this way, and you don't end up in bed with a hero. In principle, you end up with a ball and chain. They want good sex, an emotional dumping ground, and then you have to listen to the whining on top of it. Stick to what you know and find yourself an unmarried man.